The Women's retreat at Melbourne's Chinmaya Dham began with prayers and a relaxing session of yoga. Swamiji Swaroopananda then set the cat among the pigeons by posing the question "Who's the Boss?". Some believed women were the hidden rulers, leading from behind, citing the old sayings that "the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world" and "behind every great man there is a good woman". Others pointed to the fact that throughout the world most positions of power are held by men so obviously they are the boss. Swamji solved the dilemma by pointing out the leader is the boss. A leader is the one who can lead, help others and overcome errors, difficulties and problems both within and without.

A leader is always the boss, whether they are male or female. A dog is on a lead but he leads the one walking him. Leadership is measured by success. Men are successful in the world arena and therefore are seen as the leaders. It should however be remembered that leaders not only achieve, they also help others to achieve. A person of achievement may not necessarily be a leader. People are inspired not forced to follow a leader.

Women are also successful but in a different sphere. Outside the home the energy is masculine, it is a man's world. From early civilisation men went out to hunt and farm, they were the mighty conqueror. In the worldly sphere, manly qualities are required. Courage is needed to meet the challenges and adventure provided by the world. Masculine qualities do not work in the home. Feminine qualities are needed.

Nature is made up of opposite pairs. They go together, they co-exist. Light and darkness co-exist. They cannot exist without each other. This is the Ying and the Yang, Purusha and Prakriti, Shiva and Parvati. These opposites complement each other, they work in unison and productivity is the result. Spirit is the vitalising force and matter provides the differences and variety. Together they make creation. In nature some forces are masculine and some are feminine. In plants the roots represent the masculine force and the leaves the feminine. They work together.

This is seen among the five elements that make up nature. Water and fire are enemies. They oppose one another. Air and fire on the other hand are complementing forces. Even complementing elements can oppose one another when one element is in excess. For instance, water and earth are complementary but if there is too much water like in a flood, they oppose one another. The balance ceases when one force dominates the other. None of the four elements opposes or complements space because it accommodates both forces. It is a neutral force. In ether or space both forces work to achieve.

A person who accommodates both forces within himself is complete. This is often seen in a family where the father and mother provide both the masculine or feminine qualities. In this case WE are the boss. There is no separation. Love is needed to work together. The two forces are not alike and in nature opposite forces attract and like forces repel on another. Both forces have their positive and negative qualities. There are strengths and weaknesses in each.

A true leader has both masculine and feminine qualities. The inner forces are feminine and the outer forces are masculine. This arrangement is found in the family, society and every activity. In meditation we need to invoke the masculine qualities of focus and direction and the feminine qualities of imagination and creativity. Meditation is not possible if either quality is lacking. Whoever can harmonise both forces in himself is a leader.

In the world success is measured by outward achievements which reflects the masculine forces. Men excel in this predominantly masculine arena. In the home the standards of success are predominantly feminine. In this arena women excel and men flounder. Success depends on the world you are measuring. You can have success in the outside or material world or in the inner or spiritual world. Now days the outside world is the predominant measure of achievement. What constitutes success? To be peaceful and happy or to be rich? Who is more important, the person holding the ladder steady at the bottom or the person standing at the top? It is all a matter of how we MEASURE things, the standards we use to measure success.

A leader is one who does the job successfully and helps others to achieve success. The one who can convert negatives into positives both inside and outside themselves is a leader Domination is not leadership. It leads to war and conflict. We need to be part of the chain of life. One part of life links to another. In a chain there is a link before and a link after it. A good follower can be a good leader.

The qualities of a leader are as follows:

Clear vision. A good thinker and knows what is happening, clear about the purpose behind things.

Clarity of direction. Can set goals, know the destination of the journey.

Proper Planning. This requires details.

Confidence. Strength, ability and stamina.

Integrity. When one's word is given you can trust it will be fulfilled.

Commitment

Quick at making decisions

Inspiring, setting an example

Dependable and disciplined

Cooperation, team spirit

Empathy

Communication

Humble

The one who serves is independent (the master) and the one who is served becomes dependent (the servant).

The positive masculine and feminine qualities are outlined in the table below. Many are similar and so support one another. They may even merge into one another. Qualities can be inherited or cultivated. Where they are inherent the person excels effortlessly. It is natural, part of their nature. When we are self aware we can recognise our own special qualities.

Sometimes the positive aspects of the qualities can become negative. In the story of Rama, the two demons Mareecha and Subahu stand for the negative tendencies. Rama does not destroy them but banishes them. We can deal with negative qualities by transforming them into positive qualities.

If like the element space you can accommodate both masculine and feminine qualities within yourself, you will be great, you will excel.

A leader can transform negatives into positives. There is a saying "Master yourself to master the world".

The antidote to some key feminine negativities are as follows:

When desire arises in the mind, when you simply have to have something, counteract it with a spirit of sacrifice.

A keen sense of memory can cause one to harbour regrets and grievances, this can be overcome by forgiveness.

Selfishness can be overcome by submissiveness. Surrender easily leads to peace.

Jealousy is overcome by admiration and appreciation.